Oh, the grand finale of the Biden-Harris era. It’s like watching the last scene of a bad sitcom—equal parts awkward and unintentionally funny. As the curtain closes, the speeches, the forced smiles, and the self-congratulatory patting on the back are all too predictable. But don’t worry, folks; January 20 is right around the corner, and that bright light you see isn’t an oncoming train. It’s the promise of a fresh start. Hallelujah.
Let’s start with Jill Biden, shall we? Poor Jill looks like she’s attending a long funeral for her political dreams. The despondence is almost palpable. After all, the Bidens are leaving power, and the reality of having to move out of their cozy, tax-funded bubble has to sting. But wait, it gets better. In a move that feels more like something out of a 1980s Eastern Bloc playbook, the Department of Defense awarded both Joe and Jill Biden Distinguished Public Service medals. Medals. For themselves. Because nothing says “We’ve done an amazing job” like handing yourself shiny trinkets on your way out the door. This feels less “distinguished” and more “participation trophy,” but hey, whatever helps them sleep at night.
And then there’s Kamala Harris, our soon-to-be former vice president, who seems blissfully unaware of how thoroughly she’s been rejected. You almost have to admire the delusion—almost. She recently showed up for a ceremonial desk signing event (because, apparently, that’s still a thing?) where she was in peak Kamala mode: jazz hands, word salad, and a heavy dose of smug self-congratulation. According to her, she’s the public face of “lifting up the American people” and embracing the “nobility of public service.” Sure, Kamala. If by “lifting up,” you mean driving inflation through the roof and turning the border crisis into a complete dumpster fire, then, yes, mission accomplished.
Holy cringe.
Whole room chants “MVP” as Kamala signs the desk drawer and says:
“We’re getting work done until Monday”
She hasn’t gotten SH*T done in 4 YEARS!
pic.twitter.com/00yNrT71kk— Jack (@jackunheard) January 16, 2025
But wait—it gets better. Kamala says she’s “thanked” by people all over the country. Okay, sure. Let’s file that one under “Things That Never Happened.” People thanking her for what exactly? For avoiding the border while pretending to be the Border Czar? For the record-breaking levels of fentanyl pouring into communities? For doing so little that even her own staffers reportedly can’t stand working with her? If someone’s saying thank you, it’s probably sarcastic.
KAMALA: “I am fully aware that I am the public face of a lot of our work and so I have the benefit of running into people all over our country who thank me.” 😳 pic.twitter.com/lXuqTlphIk
— Jake Schneider (@jacobkschneider) January 16, 2025
What really takes the cake is Kamala’s insistence that she’s not fading into obscurity quietly. Oh no, she’s planning her next act—cue the ominous music. Maybe a run for California governor in 2026, or worse, another shot at the presidency in 2028. If her track record as VP is anything to go by, that campaign will be about as successful as her last one. You remember that disaster, right? She spent over $1.5 billion to go absolutely nowhere unless you count the occasional cackle-fest on late-night TV. But sure, Kamala, tell yourself you’re the “MVP.” Even her staff chanting it feels less like a celebration and more like a tragic inside joke.
🚨 Kamala says she’s not going anywhere: “It is not my nature to go quietly into the night! Ha ha ha!” pic.twitter.com/wZeJp6SGKh
— Jake Schneider (@jacobkschneider) January 16, 2025
And let’s not forget her ever-cringeworthy husband, “Dougie.” Because nothing caps off this circus better than Kamala announcing that her husband was about to take a selfie. Yes, America, this is what leadership looks like. Selfies and empty slogans.
The good news? The clock is ticking. The Biden-Harris administration’s days of empty gestures, performative politics, and economic train wrecks are finally coming to an end. The countdown is on, and come January 20, we’ll be unburdened from what has been nothing short of an embarrassment for the country. The exit can’t come soon enough. Let’s hope they pack quickly.
