Two Cited After Shooting Bald Eagle

By
Markus Noah
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Well, here we are, folks. In the latest episode of “Things That Shouldn’t Be Happening in America But Somehow Are,” a pair of migrants from Honduras thought it’d be a great idea to shoot down a North American bald eagle—a protected national symbol, mind you—so they could cook and eat it. Yes, you read that right. Not a turkey, not a chicken—nope, they went for the bird on the Great Seal of the United States.

The Stanton County Sheriff’s Office in Nebraska caught these two brainiacs near the Wood Duck Recreation Area, about 100 miles from Omaha. Apparently, Ramiro Hernandez-Tziquin and Domingo Zetino-Hernandez thought it was perfectly fine to bag themselves an eagle and toss it on the grill. You know, just your everyday road trip snack. Oh, and to add to the fun, one of them didn’t even have a driver’s license. So, not only were they poaching our national bird, but they were also rolling around Nebraska without the basic paperwork you need to drive.

Sheriff Mike Unger, doing his best to remain “politically correct” (we all know how that goes), made it clear that he wasn’t exactly impressed with their third-world survival tactics. I mean, it’s one thing to get lost in translation, but did nobody hand these guys a pamphlet that said, “Hey, don’t eat the national bird”?

Now, here’s where it gets even better (or worse, depending on your level of frustration). Despite being caught red-handed—or red-feathered, in this case—the pair was cited for a simple misdemeanor and then released. Yep, you heard that right. They were allowed to walk free. Why? Well, it seems Sheriff Unger has been banging on the door of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to get them to step in and handle this eagle-slaying debacle. But guess what? Not a single person from the federal government has bothered to return his calls. Apparently, prosecuting bald eagle killers just isn’t a priority these days.

Unger, clearly frustrated, says the locals are furious. Imagine that! People in Nebraska, where bald eagles actually live and symbolize the freedom this country was built on, are upset. Shocking, right? But, of course, we can’t seem to get the feds to do anything about it.

“Again, people locally that I’ve talked to are quite upset, and they wish something could be done. And the federal government is the one that really has the authority and the ability to prosecute these gentlemen to the highest degree,” Unger said.

And here’s the kicker—any criticism of this situation, or heaven forbid, questions about how some migrants have a loose interpretation of American law, is swiftly labeled as “racism” by the usual suspects. So, just to be clear: pointing out that shooting and eating a bald eagle is illegal and insane now puts you on the wrong side of the woke outrage mob.

Sadly, this isn’t just some random event. In Springfield, Ohio, a similar story is unfolding with Haitian migrants apparently turning the local wildlife—geese and ducks, this time—into dinner. So, just to recap: between bald eagles in Nebraska and waterfowl in Ohio, our national wildlife is apparently on the menu. But hey, let’s not say anything, or someone might call you a bigot.

As frustrating as all this is, at least we’ve got the memes. Because when the feds won’t prosecute people for shooting bald eagles, at least the internet can roast them better than they roasted that poor bird.

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